An open letter to Hong Myung Bo.
Dear Mr Hong (or to give you your MLS name, Mr Bo)
What are you doing? I feel like I need to ask because from over here it looks like you’re making a right royal balls up of it all.
Before I start I think I should let you know I’m a big fan of your work. That penalty in 2002 was pretty sweet. That goal against Germany in 1994? Beautiful. You’ve scored more World Cup goals than Wayne Rooney. Winning bronze at the Olympics is something no-one can complain about. You even managed to make the mullet work. Respect for that. Sometimes I lie awake at night thinking about Kashiwa Reysol because of you. Not often but enough to think about seeing a health care professional.
So, you see, I’m not one of those ‘Haterz’ but right now I’m pretty bloody angry at you.
Why? One word: Park Chu Young.
I know you both went to Korea University. Sometimes I take the bus past the main gate, it’s pretty swish, but I don’t think it should be a considered criteria when selecting football players. Unless it’s a Korea University game, then I totally understand, but I’m pretty sure we’re not all getting Gwangju 2015 Summer Universiade fever. Not yet, at least.
So what’s with all this nonsense about picking Park? I’m fairly sure his last club goal was in 2012, he may have sneaked one in 2013, I will admit I wasn’t paying attention for most of that year, had a pretty hectic social calendar. To be fair, it’s possibly not his fault, I mean you do need to actually be picked to play to be able to score and he’s not been getting in the Watford side this year. Vincent Kompany is going to be bricking it come June.
Perhaps he’s going as the team’s official Deity-go-between. Now, I’ve got nothing against a little bit of faith, I mean you gotta have a-faith-a-faith-a-faith, but when you claim that “The first and main reason why I play football is to evangelise people” part of me starts to think you aren’t taking the whole football thing seriously.
On a side note, if I was God and Park was my world voice I’d be seriously asking for a bloody refund. Or at least some kind of pay as you play and evangelise deal. I doubt you get much evangelising done sat in your tracksuit in a dug out at Vicarage Road.
But that’s beside the point. The fact is taking Park to the World Cup is basically saying to player’s that no matter what their form is or how many goals they’ve scored or whether they are actually playing or not, they’ll only be picked on their name. It’s just not on.
I have a suggestion for you, Mr Hong. Call me biased if you like but why don’t you take a forward who is actually playing and, get this, actually scoring. Sure, he didn’t go to some fancy dan university, apparently he didn’t even go to English Hagwon, but let’s not worry about that, and, okay, he doesn’t play for some sexy European team like Watford, actually nor does Park anymore now that he has walked out on another club like the good Christian that he is, but what he does do is win games.
He’s scored over a third of his team’s goals this season and, considering that his team aren’t the biggest fans of scoring goals or really looking like they want to score goals, he’s doing a damn fine job of sticking the ball in the back of the net.
As we sing on the terraces:
Lee Jong Ho’s Korean
He wears a Korean hat
He lives next door to Stebo
In a Gwangyang rented flat
He scores them with his left foot
He scores them with his right
And when we’re playing Seongnam
He scores all fucking night
Please, Mr Hong, do the right thing, don’t pick Park Chu Young.
Yours sincerely
The Entire Population of Korea (even the North).
Man of the Match: Lee Jong Ho. Scored the winner, bagged a vital 3 points, was still ignored by the KFA. Like a Korean Jamie Vardy.
Goals: Lee Jong Ho (82)
Yellow Cards: None for either side. Ref was a lazy git.
Subs: Lee Jong Ho for Jeon Hyeon Cheol, 55. Leandrinho for Lee Seung Hee, 68. Park Jun Tae for Ahn Yong Woo, 90.
Here Be Dragons! 